Hey...long time no see!

Well... to start things off, lets have a little pronunciation test. Repeat after me, "Hello...Byzantium...dog....tree...triscadecaphobia...Hagia Sophia." Now, if you got the first four words correct, but not the others... read on, my friend. If you got the last two correct... then your either in my art class and need to stop plagarizing my stuff...even after it's already late, or your smart enough to already know what I'm talking about...so go away.

Welcome again, person who does not know how to pronounce big words. Yes... we are talking about the Byzantines. Byzantian art is extremely well known...but people don't actually know where it came from. So, I'm about to have a picture under this text, and your going to recognize it off the bat, but have no clue who painted it, which era it came from, or where it is located.

Ready...
wait for it...

Bam...Magic!!!!!
So, yes, this is Byzantian art. It was painted with egg tempera (paint made from egg whites...tasty) on wood panels, as most Byzantine paintings were. Byzantine paintings are known for their religous and emotional aesthetics (ooh...fancy...how's that word pronounced?). Tipical of these are...

Eastern facial features


halos
 

disproportional bodies
 

and man babies
 

So... where can paintings like this be seen? How about the Hagia Sophia!!!!

 

This lovely place can be found in Constantinople in Istambul, Turkey. It was built in only six years (from 532-537) and added on to with minarets, or Islamic bell/prayer towers. The fun part was getting the dome on, though.

Who's played that horrid game where you have to get the shapes in the holes before the timer makes that aweful sound and all you hard work is destroyed as the shapes pop out from a spring (p.s. if you haven't played that game...I hope you do and suffer as much as I did). The Hagia Sophia was pretty much the same thing, but they cheated. They used triangular pendentives (triangles strategically placed in the corners of the rectangular building that curved, so a dome could be placed on top). It used to be a Christian church...but then it got destroyed. It used to be a Catholic chruch...but then it got destroyed...again. It used to be a mosque...but then...oh, wait. It still is.
So what can we make of this experience....

KHOKOSHNIKIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...that's what.

"Hey did you here about that khokoshniki?" "No..." "I heard it's an onion dome of a good time.....hahahahahahahahahahahahahahajajajajajajajajahahahahahahahah...hahahaha...
haha...ha" "Booo...your jokes suck"


KHOKOSHNIKIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...that's what...again

So...here they are
 Very nice. We only care bout the Khokosnikis, though...they're colorful.
The interior's nice...look it up in your own free time.

STORY TIME....once upon a time... there was a Roman empire that split in 726, and the west split into Roman Catholic Churchand the East split into the Eastern Orthidox Church. Not that much art was produced, so many churches were made... END OF STORY.

"But what about the happy ending..."

STORY TIME CONTINUED...and many people were martyred...END OF STORY.

 It's now the most anticipated time of my blog!!! The part where we all celebrate because you have just wanted to here me rant about Saint Mark's Cathedral. Yeah.
So, I found this evidence of its existance...
 

It is remembered as the largest basilica in the Second Golden Age. As you probably can't see, there are four copies of Roman copies of probably Greek bronzes on the roof. Enough said. There are 2,643 painted columns on the outside and many mosaics on the inside. So...fun jazz. Go there...it's big...really big. Fun facts, it also housed the body of Saint John in one of the columns, the patron is the dogue. Really fun jazz.

If you've ever played rock....um...paper...um...like (if your Californian) scissors, you should try playing rock...dome...get some. It's simple. Dome beats rocks and then you say, "get some." All you need is a rock under a dome:

 LIKE THIS!

It is called (drum roll please)...DOME OF ROCK!!!! (WHOOooooooooooooooo...wait...what?) Yea, that's what it's called. Get over your problems. This site can be found in the wilds of Jerusalem...as long as you read that with a Steve Irwin voice. Here is the rock underneath...

 Lovely

Supposedly, this is where, not only Abraham almost sacrificed Isaac, but also Mohammed ascended from Earth. Small world. This building is...very nice. Lovely interior.

ATTENTION PLEASE:
Please direct your picture now to the big Spanish building.



Translator please. This is the Alhambra or "Red Castle." It was once...a castle. It is now...a museum. Bummer. It used to house some of the most beautiful gardens in Spain:



But now...these have them beat:


Haha. Just kidding...maybe not. The Alhambra was traveled to by Spaniards all over the country. It has a gorgeous overlook and other cool things I'm sure.

I think that is all...go home.

I found these pictuers here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here repectively.