About this blog

Hello my friends,



This blog is made in the efforts of putting forth a good environment for critiquing art throughout history. That's it. Simple as that. America! Yeah. This is starting to get awkward. Let's move on now. Come on now my reader and enter the world of pretty pictures!!



Monday, December 10, 2012

I have awoken yet again



Greetings my friends. It has been a while since I have last posted my Greek art, yet it seems in that short amount of time that another great, artsy culture has risen and fallen: ROME. As once quoted, "while in Rome... what in Rome... who in Rome... where in Rome... to what extent in Rome (there was another one, but it's not quoted as often). And so my freinds, "to what extent in Rome..."

First off, I've seen pictures... you've seen pictures... my rich uncle's been there... your strange aunt you've never met got married to my crazy uncle (it was a private wedding) and they saw it together... THE COLOSSEUM!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry... wrong picture. HERE IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!
Bath in its glory. No...really. This monstrocity took the lifetime of three Roman emperors and can withstand crowds, or riots, of 50,000 people! It has some cool flood channels too. The entire thing is a massive sixteen stories high. It brings a tear to my eye... it really does. Tears of joy...happiness...peace...awkardness...and embaracement that I'm actually crying. I'm just kidding... no, really, I was. ANYWAYS... the Colosseum was used for plenty of things from drama to gladiators, naval battles, executions, soap operas, "The Avengers..." I even heard that Mozart played some classical there. Hahahahaa... get it? classical... no... any nerds out there? Nevermind. The colosseum even had tickets, niches for decore and the Roman archade (meaning many..many arches in a row!!) The Romans were also the founders of concrete. Fun jazz. It was also full of Greek copies of statues like this handsom fellah who we'll talk about next. I found this picture here.

I DO SAY. Said the Roman. Not I. Said the Roman again as his speech got us nowhere. I HAVE GLASS IN MY EYE!!!!
 If you think that having glass in your eyes is awkward... try having two glass eyes. Legally blind, this Head of Agustus has glass paste that was heated and then painted to look real. Pretty cool. This is a bust as it is only the head and it is from early Rome...not partially destroyed Rome. That was much later. Ladies, if you're looking for a hottie with glass eyes, you can find this one in the Ghetty Museum. I found this picture here.

HEY GORGEOUS, LOOK INTO THESE EYES....
NAME: Constanine
PROFFESION: Emporer
STATUS: Single Male on the Hunt
This is the head of the emperor's massive thirty-foot statue. He was origionally sitting, but then he kinda fell apart. The eyes and the nose are obscenely large as it would have looked proportional to those looking up at him. Very clever. I found this man here.








AND NOW FOR SOME TRIBUTES:

The very nice one on the left here is the Column of Trajan. It stands with awe as a very nice pillar. Very nice. The puny things on the sides are called reliefs. They are sculpted to show the very might of Trajan through his victories. He crushed the Germanic barbarians as well as adopted their violent art. Very shnazzy. I wonder if I killed Michealangelo, if I could have adopted his art style? Food for thought. Artists beware. The column also holds Trajan's ashes. The large arch on the right is the Arch of Constantine. Its name is very origional. The arch is also to dedicate Constantie's victories, but also houses the looting of Jerusalem. It is of great historic importance, or so they say. I found both these pictures here and here.

You may be asking yourself, "Nick, what just is the difference between an arch and a vault. Please help me... I am trying to cheat on my homework and I need the answers now!!!" Well, first I would tell you to find a dictionary and that I AM NOT A QUESTION AND ANSWER WEBSITE!!!!! SO ALL YOU CHEATERS, GO TAKE A HIKE. Now the answer, however, is simple. An arch is a narrow entance with a semi-circle and a keystone at the top. Here is a picture of one.


 A vault on the other hand is the same idea, but used for longer stretches like hallways.
Here is a ribbed vault. As we can see, it was very popular with both Italian and Gothic architechure back in the good ole days of fun and plague!


AREN"T THESE COOL. DON"T YOU LOVE MY BLOG. :)











The arches were also a great way to build sturdy aquaducts without using too much concrete. They were elevated from the mountainswith an incline of half an inch per mile which was an engieering feat of its day. These provided plenty of Roman cities with snow-fresh water.

ANOTHER GREAT PLACE IN ROME...
is that wonderful Pantheon. "Pan" meeaning all and "theos" meaning gods. This was a great place for everyone to come together as worship, pray, and sacrifice the occasional person.
Here is a great picture of the outside of the pantheon, where the great dome is easily seen. The inside has a drainage system to get rid of the rain. The circumfrance is sixteen stories around and an osculus is atop the dome to allow in light and serve as the all seeing eye.The poticohas some nice Corinthian pillars for style points.

Another thing that the Romans were famous for were their great frescos. These were made from painting wet plaster on walls to decorate buildings. They were very thick and durable.
This particular one is very beautiful as it depicts certain foods that would have been common to the Romans. I found it here.

Lastly, we have the stunning Roman mosaics. The Romans were the masters of these as the average size of each stone was 1-2 centimetes ans as small 150 stones per suare centimeter!!! Skill unmatched. Clearly. Here is an excellent example of some Roman youth. It is very lifelike and has remarkable detail. I am very jealous. Very jealous.






That will be all for my section on Rome. I would very much appreciate any comments, concerns, or wise sayings. Until then.... I sleep. Good night America!

5 comments:

  1. Constantine, I'm sorry, but you're not gonna get a date. You're just not as good looking as those old people in the top picture. :P

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  2. Well, after reading your blog I have come to the conclusion that you are either a genius or a madman. Either way, it's fun to read.

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  3. This is very fun to read, as Reed stated above! I like how you throw humor into your blog, it's entertaining :)

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  4. Reed, I prefer genius with an "o" in it.

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  5. Great job. Be sure to spell check: portico and original. Also, your posts need titles! It would be best if the title is both catchy and informative.

    ReplyDelete