Hey...long time no see!

Well... to start things off, lets have a little pronunciation test. Repeat after me, "Hello...Byzantium...dog....tree...triscadecaphobia...Hagia Sophia." Now, if you got the first four words correct, but not the others... read on, my friend. If you got the last two correct... then your either in my art class and need to stop plagarizing my stuff...even after it's already late, or your smart enough to already know what I'm talking about...so go away.

Welcome again, person who does not know how to pronounce big words. Yes... we are talking about the Byzantines. Byzantian art is extremely well known...but people don't actually know where it came from. So, I'm about to have a picture under this text, and your going to recognize it off the bat, but have no clue who painted it, which era it came from, or where it is located.

Ready...
wait for it...

Bam...Magic!!!!!
So, yes, this is Byzantian art. It was painted with egg tempera (paint made from egg whites...tasty) on wood panels, as most Byzantine paintings were. Byzantine paintings are known for their religous and emotional aesthetics (ooh...fancy...how's that word pronounced?). Tipical of these are...

Eastern facial features


halos
 

disproportional bodies
 

and man babies
 

So... where can paintings like this be seen? How about the Hagia Sophia!!!!

 

This lovely place can be found in Constantinople in Istambul, Turkey. It was built in only six years (from 532-537) and added on to with minarets, or Islamic bell/prayer towers. The fun part was getting the dome on, though.

Who's played that horrid game where you have to get the shapes in the holes before the timer makes that aweful sound and all you hard work is destroyed as the shapes pop out from a spring (p.s. if you haven't played that game...I hope you do and suffer as much as I did). The Hagia Sophia was pretty much the same thing, but they cheated. They used triangular pendentives (triangles strategically placed in the corners of the rectangular building that curved, so a dome could be placed on top). It used to be a Christian church...but then it got destroyed. It used to be a Catholic chruch...but then it got destroyed...again. It used to be a mosque...but then...oh, wait. It still is.
So what can we make of this experience....

KHOKOSHNIKIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...that's what.

"Hey did you here about that khokoshniki?" "No..." "I heard it's an onion dome of a good time.....hahahahahahahahahahahahahahajajajajajajajajahahahahahahahah...hahahaha...
haha...ha" "Booo...your jokes suck"


KHOKOSHNIKIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...that's what...again

So...here they are
 Very nice. We only care bout the Khokosnikis, though...they're colorful.
The interior's nice...look it up in your own free time.

STORY TIME....once upon a time... there was a Roman empire that split in 726, and the west split into Roman Catholic Churchand the East split into the Eastern Orthidox Church. Not that much art was produced, so many churches were made... END OF STORY.

"But what about the happy ending..."

STORY TIME CONTINUED...and many people were martyred...END OF STORY.

 It's now the most anticipated time of my blog!!! The part where we all celebrate because you have just wanted to here me rant about Saint Mark's Cathedral. Yeah.
So, I found this evidence of its existance...
 

It is remembered as the largest basilica in the Second Golden Age. As you probably can't see, there are four copies of Roman copies of probably Greek bronzes on the roof. Enough said. There are 2,643 painted columns on the outside and many mosaics on the inside. So...fun jazz. Go there...it's big...really big. Fun facts, it also housed the body of Saint John in one of the columns, the patron is the dogue. Really fun jazz.

If you've ever played rock....um...paper...um...like (if your Californian) scissors, you should try playing rock...dome...get some. It's simple. Dome beats rocks and then you say, "get some." All you need is a rock under a dome:

 LIKE THIS!

It is called (drum roll please)...DOME OF ROCK!!!! (WHOOooooooooooooooo...wait...what?) Yea, that's what it's called. Get over your problems. This site can be found in the wilds of Jerusalem...as long as you read that with a Steve Irwin voice. Here is the rock underneath...

 Lovely

Supposedly, this is where, not only Abraham almost sacrificed Isaac, but also Mohammed ascended from Earth. Small world. This building is...very nice. Lovely interior.

ATTENTION PLEASE:
Please direct your picture now to the big Spanish building.



Translator please. This is the Alhambra or "Red Castle." It was once...a castle. It is now...a museum. Bummer. It used to house some of the most beautiful gardens in Spain:



But now...these have them beat:


Haha. Just kidding...maybe not. The Alhambra was traveled to by Spaniards all over the country. It has a gorgeous overlook and other cool things I'm sure.

I think that is all...go home.

I found these pictuers here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here repectively.

I have awoken yet again

Greetings my friends. It has been a while since I have last posted my Greek art, yet it seems in that short amount of time that another great, artsy culture has risen and fallen: ROME. As once quoted, "while in Rome... what in Rome... who in Rome... where in Rome... to what extent in Rome (there was another one, but it's not quoted as often). And so my freinds, "to what extent in Rome..."

First off, I've seen pictures... you've seen pictures... my rich uncle's been there... your strange aunt you've never met got married to my crazy uncle (it was a private wedding) and they saw it together... THE COLOSSEUM!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry... wrong picture. HERE IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!

Bath in its glory. No...really. This monstrocity took the lifetime of three Roman emperors and can withstand crowds, or riots, of 50,000 people! It has some cool flood channels too. The entire thing is a massive sixteen stories high. It brings a tear to my eye... it really does. Tears of joy...happiness...peace...awkardness...and embaracement that I'm actually crying. I'm just kidding... no, really, I was. ANYWAYS... the Colosseum was used for plenty of things from drama to gladiators, naval battles, executions, soap operas, "The Avengers..." I even heard that Mozart played some classical there. Hahahahaa... get it? classical... no... any nerds out there? Nevermind. The colosseum even had tickets, niches for decore and the Roman archade (meaning many..many arches in a row!!) The Romans were also the founders of concrete. Fun jazz. It was also full of Greek copies of statues like this handsom fellah who we'll talk about next. I found this picture here.

I DO SAY. Said the Roman. Not I. Said the Roman again as his speech got us nowhere. I HAVE GLASS IN MY EYE!!!!
 If you think that having glass in your eyes is awkward... try having two glass eyes. Legally blind, this Head of Agustus has glass paste that was heated and then painted to look real. Pretty cool. This is a bust as it is only the head and it is from early Rome...not partially destroyed Rome. That was much later. Ladies, if you're looking for a hottie with glass eyes, you can find this one in the Ghetty Museum. I found this picture here.

HEY GORGEOUS, LOOK INTO THESE EYES....

NAME: Constanine

PROFFESION: Emporer

STATUS: Single Male on the Hunt

This is the head of the emperor's massive thirty-foot statue. He was origionally sitting, but then he kinda fell apart. The eyes and the nose are obscenely large as it would have looked proportional to those looking up at him. Very clever. I found this man here.

AND NOW FOR SOME TRIBUTES:

The very nice one on the left here is the Column of Trajan. It stands with awe as a very nice pillar. Very nice. The puny things on the sides are called reliefs. They are sculpted to show the very might of Trajan through his victories. He crushed the Germanic barbarians as well as adopted their violent art. Very shnazzy. I wonder if I killed Michealangelo, if I could have adopted his art style? Food for thought. Artists beware. The column also holds Trajan's ashes. The large arch on the right is the Arch of Constantine. Its name is very origional. The arch is also to dedicate Constantie's victories, but also houses the looting of Jerusalem. It is of great historic importance, or so they say. I found both these pictures here and here.

You may be asking yourself, "Nick, what just is the difference between an arch and a vault. Please help me... I am trying to cheat on my homework and I need the answers now!!!" Well, first I would tell you to find a dictionary and that I AM NOT A QUESTION AND ANSWER WEBSITE!!!!! SO ALL YOU CHEATERS, GO TAKE A HIKE. Now the answer, however, is simple. An arch is a narrow entance with a semi-circle and a keystone at the top. Here is a picture of one.


 A vault on the other hand is the same idea, but used for longer stretches like hallways.

Here is a ribbed vault. As we can see, it was very popular with both Italian and Gothic architechure back in the good ole days of fun and plague!

AREN"T THESE COOL. DON"T YOU LOVE MY BLOG. :)











The arches were also a great way to build sturdy aquaducts without using too much concrete. They were elevated from the mountainswith an incline of half an inch per mile which was an engieering feat of its day. These provided plenty of Roman cities with snow-fresh water.

ANOTHER GREAT PLACE IN ROME...
is that wonderful Pantheon. "Pan" meeaning all and "theos" meaning gods. This was a great place for everyone to come together as worship, pray, and sacrifice the occasional person.
Here is a great picture of the outside of the pantheon, where the great dome is easily seen. The inside has a drainage system to get rid of the rain. The circumfrance is sixteen stories around and an osculus is atop the dome to allow in light and serve as the all seeing eye.The poticohas some nice Corinthian pillars for style points.

Another thing that the Romans were famous for were their great frescos. These were made from painting wet plaster on walls to decorate buildings. They were very thick and durable.
This particular one is very beautiful as it depicts certain foods that would have been common to the Romans. I found it here.

Lastly, we have the stunning Roman mosaics. The Romans were the masters of these as the average size of each stone was 1-2 centimetes ans as small 150 stones per suare centimeter!!! Skill unmatched. Clearly. Here is an excellent example of some Roman youth. It is very lifelike and has remarkable detail. I am very jealous. Very jealous.






That will be all for my section on Rome. I would very much appreciate any comments, concerns, or wise sayings. Until then.... I sleep. Good night America!

The statue of a youth: the perfect ideal image of the young Greek man. He works out...totally. Upon further examination, however, we can see that he greatly resembles statues from ancient egypt. Strange? Not Quite. Greece was fond of other art styles, including ones from other conquered countries. See here:

As we can infer, it is truely stolen from the Egyptians. Let's call them out on the plagerism. The statue of the youth was found in Kouros. The sculpture it sel in called a scilpture in the round since it is carved in three dimentions all the way around from marble. The Greeks were famous for this. It is also one of the earliest Greek statues found. Found these images here and here, respectively. Enjoy!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We now move on to a more "refined" Greek statue: the ever-famous Kritios Boy. Found on the island of Crete, the statue shows that the Greeks decided to become more relaxed about things (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAhahahaha...ha...ha...ha............ha....you're hilarious). Once again we can see the sculpture in the round here. I also found this cool look'n evolutionary chart thing:

It shows our lovely statue of a youth become a man. How lovely. Appaerently he outgrew his clothes. He seems to be striking a counterpose or controposto: meaning oneknee bent and one hip up. This was the archaic statue style for the Greeks. We can see his rage in the final evolved form. I found these images here and here.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We now come to the Venus de Milo, or if you still speak Greek, the goddess Aphrodite. Love and beauty was her name and this statue was her fame. It does appear to be armless...that's what happens when you get old, your limbs start to fall off. It is, in fact, another statue in the round. The clothes were so realistically carved because the models were actually wearing wet clothes, so it would conform to the body and drape. I found this here.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next we have the goddess Nike of Samathrace. This is a truely interesting piece not because of the statue itself, but because of the negative space. The statue would have been "landing on a ship while calling out Nike," but weathering had other plans. I found this image here.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is a Gaul. Gaul is dying. See Gaul die. Die Gaul die. As we can see, this is The Dying Gaul. Gaul = Celt. How sad this Celt is, he has died in battle, and been over-romantisized at the same time. This is actually the Roman copy of the Greek bronze, however. Gauls were said to be the fiercest warriors of all time. Look at this one:

He is very angry at the Greeks, and he is very muscular. That is a very bad combination. I found these pictures here and here.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We now move on to the amphora, a very necessary part of everyday Greek life. This was a two-handled jar to store liquids. The early verions had red clay with black paintings while the later ones had black clay with red paintings. This one has two gods playing a nice...freindly....game (probably betting money...cause they can).

I found this here.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lets move on to some architecture. OK!!!!!! Here are three very recognized pieces of architecture:

What do all these have in common? "I don't know Nick, give me your insight!" They can all be found on the Achropolis: a mountain cut into a platue used as the center of the city of Athens. The picture on the far left is the Parthenon. It was once a temple of Athena, goddess of war, and probably still is thanks to cults and other wierd people. Thank you wierd people for being wierd. It is made up of 70,000 pieces of stone and all fit together using a post and lintel system. It is of Doric style encompassing pillars, stylabite, pediment, and interior. It once had a Christian church, a mosque, and even was attempted to be restored, but did even more damage. It was built in eight years!!!! Amazing!!!!! It is even bowed to make the temple look staight, but really, it has no straight lines at all. It is 101' wide by 228' long and about 70' high. Over its history, it has taken damage from Spartans, Persians, and even Napolian. It is currently being restored today.

    

The picture on the far right is of the three goddesses commemorating the birth of Athena. They are slightly larger than life and were mounted on the pediment (roof) of the parthenon. It is said that they were once painted bright colors along with the rest of the parthenon.

Lastly, we have the middle picture. This is the Porch of Maidens found on the Erechtheum on the Acropolis. The female figures themselves are called Caryatids, and they replace the columns. I found all these pictures here, here, and here from left to right.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The last thing we have in our Hellenic era of art history is the three different types of classical architecture: Doric, Ionic, and Corinthian. And here they are:

I found this here. Thank you for reading all this I know it is a lot. Please post comments on anything you liked and disliked, and remember the Greeks.

Hey you......yah you!! Wanna learn a new language? Well, here take this. It will help you on your journey. It's the rosetta stone and it is awesome!!! It help to translate two forms of hyroglyphics that were unknown from a Greek language as the derivative. It is a large and heavy textbook to carry!!! Found this picture here. Comments:

The three pyramids of giza; a marvelous sight to behold!!!! Each built for three pharohs: Khufu, Khafre, and Menkala. (say that three times fast:
1. KHUFUKHAFREMENKUIIUYT,  
2. KHUFUKDSSAEGBHYMYHMENKGDSAAERGH,
3. HSRNDXJBFGK_BJHF RW--7t t kvugku go78bc7t478h6dx48ncxthfnukfi8
I GIVE UP!!!!!!)
Yes, they truely are inspiring. Once flourishing with shiny limestone on the bank of the nile. They housed the great pharohs of old. The base of the largest one is 466 ft. long and all are perfectly symetrical. I found this super-duper picture here. What do you think?

BEHOLD....EGYPT!!!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We all know this one!!! What do you get when cross a man and a lion? Well, a sphinx. Congradulations, your all smart!!! They supossedly protected the pyramids from tomb robbers. Seems effective, until they have a power hose for their weapon of choice. this one is a whopp'n 240 fett long and 66 feet tall. You may now procede to clap and cheer. I found this picture here. Please, share your thoughts!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's play charades!!!! UHHHHH!!!! (12 hours later) UHHHHH!!!! What am I? I'm the Colossi of Memnon, of course. These great statues used to moan at sun rise and sun set because the temperature difference allowed for the stone to expand and contrast making a sound. HOW COOL IS THAT. The ancients thought they were moaning at the pharoh everyday, magically..... :( ..... But what do they know? Apparently alot about cool rocks!! They don't moan anymore however, which makes me sad. :(  I got this sweet image here. What do you thinken???

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The great stuatues of Abu Simbel!!!!! Made by the illustrious Ramses II, for the illustrious Ramses II, of the illustrious Ramses II. You know what the best part of this is? The ENTIRE mountain was moved by him and his slaves so that it would not get water errosion from the nearby lake. WHAT A BOSS!!!!! His tiny wife and kids are all next to his legs in the statues. He obviously thought highly of them.The inside is the picture below. The outside is the facade entrance to look super-duper. But the inside obviously had some nice interior design.

It's got that nice sacrificial vive to it that everyone enjoys. I found both these pictures here and here respectively. What do you think of them????!!!!!!!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------